I suppose this is as good a time as any to start something like this. Eight months after graduating from my photography BA, and I'm struggling to understand what it is that I want out of my present, let alone my future. There was a period of about 48 hours this past weekend, where there was only one constant thread of thought and that was about leaving Manchester and spending the summer at home, possibly under the guise of saving money, but maybe more realistically seeking solace in home comforts before, in my own eyes, I'm 'too old for that'. I think the bench mark for that is 25. Next year I will have existed for quarter of a century. Why am I writing this down? Am I trying to induce a new level of existential crisis? I don't know, all I know is I'm sat in my mother's living room and across the room I can see a graduation photograph she's chosen to frame (really awfully) on the mantlepiece, and I'm doing the peace sign - ala Daisy-Steiner-girl-power-job-interview.
The point I intended to make was that I actually think I was just enduring a 48 hour alcohol induced come down and probably got a bit sad about the fact I've got to pay my own bills now. But that's totally something I should be rejoicing, and I do know that deep down and the fact that I'm a sassy independent 20-something woman that can support herself (regardless of cash flow issues that revolve around 'I got too drunk this whole weekend and now I have to just eat soup at work'), I have to start DOING the things that I talk about. If I'd been to a class every time I said I wanted to take up yoga, I'd be so flexible right now. Sometimes I want to write about things and I have no use for them, or share playlists and so forth, so I guess this will be semi-suitable/embarrassing outlet.
A really lovely video from
Amanda Jas that makes me pine for summer:
Everywhere and Nowhere, 2014. from
Amanda on
Vimeo.
